When I took the vows for better or worse, I meant them. Then I started to wonder if there was a limit as to how much worse I was supposed to endure. Am I supposed to stay if worse means that me and my daughter are in danger? What if the worse was because of a mental illness? When is enough simply too much?
This is a different kind of love story. Read Nina’s journals for a tale of hope, strength of spirit, and unconditional love.
Shane loved walking around without a shirt on, showing off his muscular physique. Honestly, I loved seeing him, loved touching his bare skin. In that moment, he leaned his back against the counter and faced me. Without thinking, I walked into his open arms, inhaled his scent to imprint it upon my soul, and kissed the broken heart tribal tattoo on his chest.
Shane: Are you trying to heal my broken heart?
Shaking my head, I responded.
me: Nope. Just loving you.
Shane: Good. It can’t be fixed.
He looked down and instead of wrapping me up and pulling me closer, he stiffened and stood straight.
Shane: Sometimes, I think you are only attracted to me because you want to fix me.
His demeanor had me tensing up. Somehow, I knew what I said next was going to be really important. Shaking my head, I found the words I sought.
me: Baby, until I got to know you, I didn’t even know you were broken.
That softened him. My words worked. They were magic. He admired my ability to communicate, to speak eloquently, to make an impact through simple speech. Words did not come easily for him.
He held me close. Bending his head, his chin in my hair, he finally spoke what was clearly bothering him.
Shane: You make me want to be a better man, but I don’t want to change. What are we going to do about that?
With my chin on his chest, staring up into his pained eyes, I told him the truth. There was only one way I knew to make this work.
me: I’m going to love you through it. No matter what, come what may, I promise I’ll love you the best I can with all that I am.
I meant it, too.
Nicki has lived in Charlotte, North Carolina with her children for the past twelve years and her husband for the past four. Her journey has barely begun and she has loved every minute of it. Every day of her life seems to bring new adventures, some bigger, better, shinier and prettier than others. She's still getting used to that new life smell she's experiencing, a combination of hope, love, and happiness. (The perfect scents to build a new life on...)
For fun, she spends time with those she cares about, cooks, reads, writes, and especially lives to travel. The current travel goal: visit every Margaritaville. Three down! (Eleven to go?)
In May, Nicki started the blog Stories and Swag to promote authors. Several months later, she started Stories and Swag Tours, a blog tour company offering cover reveals, release blitzes, release parties on Facebook, and blog tours. In addition, she started Dominatrix Publishing, a boutique publishing company, to help other authors achieve publishing success.
Her writing can also be found on Shine, where she is a Shine Parenting Guru and an award winning Yahoo! Contributor on YourWisdom as the relationship and dating expert. In addition, she has been published by McClatchy News in their syndicated papers.
Her books can be found on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, Apple, and Smashwords in ebook, paperback, and even some audiobooks.